An abuser’s objective is to force you to carry out ideas in every particular. Their motive is to have control over very point of the married life. You must understand that if you came from a dysfunctional home, without understanding your true self worth, places you at great risk. Therefore, an abuser is likely to slip past your radar. There is hope, and that hope is found in educating yourself.

Not having a father in the home makes a large impact on choosing the right husband. Having a good father infuses within the child’s mind self worth, protection and balanced love. A home filled with not only motherly love, but fatherly love allows the daughter to interpersonal connections between the mother and father, whether bad or good. She’s able to see how a man should respond in disagreements and conflict with his wife. If this dynamic is not seen it will manifest in bad relationships.

In a dysfunctional home true love has not been seen. It’s selfish, unloving, conditional, and horrid. Women think in a great sense with emotion and have a deep desire to be loved which is a good thing. She should feel peace safe in the arms of her husband, and he should feel the deep sense of manhood in protecting his wife.

But there is an even a deeper craving for lustful love, coming from a home of dysfunction. There is a quicker response to lust, regardless of the character of the man. A woman from a dysfunctional home is at great risk of having a higher tolerance and patience with a selfish, egotistical men. Read Ephesians 5:25.

Many dear young woman make a great mistake because of ignorance. Being able to perceive characters whether happy, sad, mad, abusive or good is a skill that can be hampered or improved. And in the case of some young ladies, abusers just slip right past the radar.

When a young lady experiences dysfunction in the home it makes them more likely to leave home, friends, and family, which is what an abuser will strive to do. The support system is almost always broken down. This idea that submission to abuse is “what Jesus would do?” must be challenged. Some young ladies from Christian backgrounds are prone to think that physical, mental, or verbal abusive is God’s lot for them in life, allowing the abuser to have more freedom to abuse.

Proverbs 10:18 says, they hide their “hatred with lying lips.” Today catch phrases, and pick up lines have been refined to excellence causing the most seasoned woman to be caught off guard, and hang at every word. Abusers cultivate the talent of speech and manipulation from their abusive home. They have seen this from knee high to the ground, and if not checked have no fear to use it at an accountable age.

It would be wise to test the words of your new-found love. Trust your “gut feelings” and don’t ignore the warning signs. Would you be soothed by the horrifying roar of an Alaskan Grizzly bear? Of course not. Deception is the route an abuser will take to maintain an emotional connection. Bountiful gift giving after explosive outburst may be common as well.

So let’s take this a little deeper. Deception. What is it? To conceal ulterior good or bad motives. Throwing a surprise birthday party for your love may be tricky without concealing your daily preparations. But imagine someone concealing their motive for control through Christianity and religion. One of the best ways abusers hide their hatred is to speak the language of a true Christian. Some do artfully well, winning the love of a girl by the externals of Christianity.

Some will go great lengths to attend church and seek baptism. Mind whom you marry. It is so critical to test the waters. Listen to the voice of God speaking to you concerning the satanic spirit of others, and don’t ignore it. These are, no less, the most “successful agents of Satan.” Youth Instructor May 3, 1894.